Recent Blog Posts
Third Time a Charm? Confronting the Challenges of Consecutive Marriages
According to an article published by Psychology Today, second and third marriages often result in divorce. Past statistics support that while first marriages have a 50/50 chance of survival, second and third marriages often fail with rates of 67 to 73 percent, not providing much hope for eternal bliss.
The reasoning behind the statistics? Often, those entering a second marriage are "on the rebound," and those trying for the proverbial third time charm have failed to learn from past mistakes.
Cathy Meyer, a Certified Divorce Coach, Marriage Educator and contributor to About.com’s Divorce Support, a general online resource for divorce, provides further explanation of why these marriages fail.
Study Indicates Women with More Education than Husbands Not at Higher Risk of Divorce
Previous studies have indicated that if a wife has more education than her husband, the more likely she is to get divorced. But a more recent study has concluded that is no longer the case.
All of the prior research had been conducted prior to the 1980’s, when women typically were not equaling or surpassing the education level of men. However, the past few decades have seen quite a change in that trend, and today it is not uncommon for a woman to have reached a higher education level than her husband.
The researchers gathered their data from the National Survey of Family Growth and the Panel Study of Income Dynamics and examined marriages that occurred between 1950 and 2004. The study, entitled The Reversal of the Gender Gap in Education and Trends in Marital Dissolution, reveals that although marriages between equally educated spouses have remained the same, when there is a difference in education level, it is becoming more common for the wife to have the most education.
Domestic Violence Victims and Divorce
The domestic violence statistics in this country are staggering.
- In the U.S., more than three women are murdered every day by their husbands or significant other.
- The leading of cause of injury to women in this country is domestic violence. More women receive injuries from battering than they do from the total combined injuries from muggings, rapes and car accidents.
- One in four women will be a domestic violence victim sometime during their lifetime.
- There are 4 million physical assaults and rapes on women by their partners every year.
According to other statistics, when a battered wife makes the decision to leave her husband and either leaves and/or begins divorce proceedings, this can be a major instigator for domestic violence. There can be a significant escalation in incidents of violence after the wife leaves the abuser. More than three-fourths of emergency room visits by battered women occur after they leave their abuser. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence says that abused women who leave their husbands are at a 75 percent greater risk of serious injury or death than women who stay. A battered woman is at the greatest risk in the two weeks after she files for divorce.
How Divorce Affects Children
Multiple studies have all concluded the same thing: divorce is bad for children. But that is not to say that parents should stay together "for the sake of the children" since other studies have shown that can be just as emotionally damaging to children as well.
However, being aware of how children are negatively affected by divorce may help parents navigate the child through the healing process with as little emotional impact as possible. The following are some of the more recent studies over the past several years that have revealed some of the negative effects of divorce on children:
- A study conducted last year by the University of Toronto found that children of divorced families begin smoking in much greater numbers than children with married parents. Women from divorced families were 39 more times more likely to begin smoking before they turned 18 years old and men were 48 percent more likely to begin smoking. There were 19,000 American people who participated in the survey.
Co-Parenting after Divorce: Joint Custody Arrangements on the Rise
Divorce is painful, sometimes unexpected, financially and emotionally draining and, most often, difficult on the children involved. Fortunately, the concept of shared joint custody between two responsible parents is on the rise.
For those residing in Illinois, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5) recognizes joint custody as one of the two basics forms of child custody, the other being sole custody.
When it works well, joint custody permits continuing involvement of both parents in the lives of their children, providing them with a more encouraging outlook for the future.
Establishing joint custody with a former spouse takes hard work. You need to maintain the strong devotion to your children and possess the ability to keep your personal emotions in check as you opt for variable compromises throughout the process.
Remember, this is not going to be easy. You will need to confer and consult with a former partner who may not be high on your likeability scale. For those wishing to venture into this type of arrangement, Parents magazine offers the following tips.
Establishing Parental Bonds: Divorced Illinois Fathers Seek Legal Equality
The bond between a mother and her child is undeniable. According to a recent article by Parenting magazine contributing editor and co-author of Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives: A Holistic Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth Deepak Chopra, M.D., a close personal attachment with your child may prevent diseases, boost immunity and enhance the IQ quotient of your child’s developing mind. Dr. Chopra further believes that maternal bonding has evolved into such a complex physiological phenomenon that touches our hearts, brains, hormones, nervous systems or about every component of our physical being. The study included in Chopra’s book, made possible by a grant from Mead Johnson Nutrition, suggests that a strong maternal bond may prove even more powerful than DNA.
But where does all this research leave Illinois fathers trying to establish a paternal bond with their children post-divorce? Recently, the Illinois Fathers Network, founded in 2008 and recently established as a non-profit organization, is trying to answer this question for Illinois fathers and other non-custodial family members by proposing three revisions to current Illinois statutes.
Steps to Take to Protect Yourself Financially During Divorce
You have finally made the decision to get a divorce. Whether it is an agreed upon decision with your spouse or something you've decided on your own, there are several things you should do in order to help minimize the financial hit you could be facing.
According to financial advisors, one of the first things you want to get rid of is any joint loans and credit cards you have with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Until your divorce is final, you and your spouse are both legally and financially responsible for each other’s debts, even if you had nothing to do with incurring the debt. If your spouse takes your shared credit card that and decides to go out and charge a whole new wardrobe on it, you are both responsible for the debt. Never assume that your spouse would not do something like that. Even the friendliest divorces can suddenly turn contentious.
Dating After Divorce: How to Inform Your Kids About Your Decision to Begin Dating
Sounds a bit strange, does it not? You are an adult, you have been married and you have been divorced. Currently you are on your own and now feel you are ready to take a chance on dating. Be prepared; your children may not be supportive of your decision.
According to Constance Ahrons, Ph.D, family therapist and author of "The Good Divorce" and "We’re Still Family," your decision to begin dating, no matter how long after divorce, is probably going to be received by your children with chilly resistance. It may also stir up a whole new cauldron of feelings for your offspring. In fact, your decision to begin dating may even be as traumatic an event as the divorce.
So how do you approach the subject? Try the following these tips and remember you are an adult and you are capable of making an informed decision.
The Sit Down Conversation
How Flexing Your Funny Bone Could Save Your Marriage
According to Fun Trivia, laughing uses 53 of our muscles. Laughter, often revered as the best medicine, involves jiggling our facial, jaw and throat muscles, and ultimately tickling our Zygomatic and Risorius muscles. Did you ever consider that by flexing these 53 optimal muscles you could keep your marriage intact?
A new study conducted by University of Maryland sociologist, Philip N. Cohen, suggests that divorce rates will increase as our economy improves. The reason? Couples can finally afford to seek the services of an experienced divorce attorney to dissolve their marital ties and be financially secure in their decision.
So how could flexing these 53 muscles improve your chances of staying married as the economy improves? Co-authors, Amy Waterman and Andrew Rusbatch of "Save My Marriage Today!" offer the following advice.
The New Trend of Social Media Clauses in Prenups
When people think of prenuptial agreement clauses, what typically comes to mind are items such as property, financial assets and spousal support. However, due to how integral social media has become to our day to day lives, it is becoming more commonplace for couples to add clauses in their prenups regarding social media behavior.
These types of clauses are not just for celebrities or other people in the public spotlight. These types of provisions are for anyone who works in a business where their reputation is critical to success and could lose their job at even a hint of scandal.
Popular social media clauses include not posing any embarrassing or inappropriate photos or videos that could harm the other spouse’s reputation. This could also include what type of comments that a person makes.







