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Money Topics Engaged Couples Should Discuss
There are many issues that an engaged couple should discuss before they actually get married. Often, a couple gets so caught up in the romance of the event that they forget about the practical and important financial issues that should be decided before the actual walk down the aisle happens. And since money is one of the most common reasons why married couples argue, there are certain topics that should be discussed to avoid major problems between the couple in the future.
Both partners should share with each other how they see their shared future. They should both have a clear understanding of whether or not they both want children and how many. They also both need to have a clear understanding about where they would like to raise that family, such as in the city, suburbs or in the country. Both partners also need to be aware of any future career goals their future spouse may have and how those goals could impact their life together.
Three Cs Of Mediation
When your family is in transition, you need to find a way to bring matters to a conclusion and move on to the next chapter of your life. That is not always easy to do in a divorce or child custody case because there is so much emotion involved and, even for couples who stay together, child rearing issues never really go away.
An experienced family law mediator can step in and help. Before we get to the heart of the matter, there is an important preliminary issue. It is very important to seek out an attorney-mediator who is certified in family law. Some other professionals may not understand all the financial, emotional and legal questions involved in Illinois family law matters.
Cost
Divorce is expensive. One oft-quoted statistic is that the average divorce costs $15,000. Although the number of extremely costly divorces in America may artificially drive up the average, one thing is certain: divorce is always more expensive than you had originally anticipated. Mediation reduces legal fees. Rather than spending months preparing for a three- or four-day trial, attorneys may spend a few days preparing for a mediation that lasts a few hours. Generally speaking, there is also less pretrial discovery, which means fewer hours that the lawyer must bill on the case.Civility
Child Support Basics in Illinois
Divorcing your spouse can be difficult. Divorcing your spouse when you have children together can be exponentially more difficult. Separating parents must consider the effects the process may have on their children and how life may be different post-divorce. Arrangements for custody, visitation, and support of the children need to be negotiated and sometimes litigated. While custody and visitation agreements may differ greatly due the circumstances unique to each family, Illinois law provides a guideline that courts are expected to follow when deciding and calculating child support.
Who Pays Support?
Under Illinois law, the court may require one or both parents "to pay an amount reasonable and necessary for the support of the child, without regard to marital misconduct." The law allows for the possibility that the child may reside with someone other than a parent after the divorce, but, in practice, the court will typically require the non-residential or non-custodial parent to pay child support.
Legal Issues Parents of Children Born Out-of-Wedlock May Face
A recent survey revealed that more and more Americans are not waiting to get married before they begin to have children. This trend is especially growing among college educated adults. But having a child out-of-wedlock may raise several legal issues that could need to be addressed.
Out of 9,000 adults between the ages of 26 to 31 years of age, more than 50 percent of the women were mothers. Of that number, 64 percent had at least one child out-of-wedlock, and almost half had all of their children out-of-wedlock. The statistics for men in the group were very similar to the women.
Unmarried parents who have children together may find themselves facing several family law issues that they did not anticipate, including paternity, child custody and support. In this state, Illinois Parentage Act of 1984 established the rules for children born to unwed parents.
What Happens to the Children when Same-Sex Families Break Up?
With more and more states enacting same-sex marriage laws, there will also be same-sex divorces that take place. For many divorcing same-sex couples, child custody will also be a major issue to negotiate.
Many same-sex couples become parents by using either surrogate mothers or sperm donors. For couples who use surrogate mothers, often the surrogate’s eggs are fertilized with one or both of the male couple’s sperm and the baby is then the biological child of one of the spouses. With female couples, often one of the women are impregnated with a sperm from a donor and carries and delivers the baby, making her the biological mother of the child.
A new study has revealed that the biological parentage of children in same-sex relationships has, in the past, played a major role in how the courts are deciding who gets custody of the children. The author of the study, Dr. Abbie Goldberg, found that because there are no definitive laws that protect non-biological parents, they ultimately have no say in whether or not they will be allowed to stay a part of the child’s life that, up until the relationship breakup, they were considered the other parent.
The Breakdown of Communication Does Not Necessarily Dominate Divorce
Numerous studies confirm that the primary contributing factor of divorce is the breakdown of communication. The Huffington Post recently posted the results of yet another study confirming that communication is essential for a successful marriage. The online lifestyle resource, Your Tango, recently polled 100 medical health professionals who in agreement, at 65 percent, still cite the lack of communication as the major contributor to divorce.
Dr. Kelly M. Flanagan, an Illinois licensed psychologist and contributor to The Huffington Post, begs to differ. Dr. Flanagan contributes the following additional factors as possible contributors responsible for the high rate of divorce.
We Like, Therefore We Think We Love
Study: Wedding Sticker Shock May Contribute to America’s Alarming Divorce Rate
Emory University of Atlanta has long held esteem as one of the nation’s premier liberal arts institutions, as well as a global leader in cutting-edge research. One of the most recent research studies released by Emory encapsulates the conception and probability of divorce among American couples. The study, titled "A Diamond is Forever and Other Fairy Tales: The Relationship Between Wedding Expenses and Marriage Duration," concluded that the combined exorbitant expenses of an engagement ring and wedding preparation may determine the duration of the all-American marriage.
Of the 3,000 adults polled, it was discovered that men who set a limit between $2,000 to $4,000 for an engagement ring were 1.3 times more likely to consult with an experienced divorce attorney at some point in the marriage. Those who opted for a $500 to $2,000 price point remained in the marriage. Those who had a lower budget for engagement rings ranging from $0 to up to $500 also faced a higher instance of divorce.
Protecting Yourself Against Financial Threats in Divorce
When a couple is going through the divorce process, emotions are usually more intense for both the husband and wife. Even the slightest remark or action by one spouse can seem amplified to the other, causing a strong reaction.
Often, anger becomes the driving force and all kinds of threats are made. This can be especially true if one spouse was the predominant breadwinner in the family and feels they have the upper hand in divorce negotiations. Threats of taking away the children or leaving the other spouse broke and homeless are common themes in acrimonious divorces. And whether or not the spouse making the threats could actually follow through with them does not always matter. Threats like these can leave the other spouse feeling stressed out and intimidated, or even frightened.
There are steps that a financially threatened spouse should take to ensure that they are protected emotionally and financially. These steps include:
Equitable Property Division in Illinois Divorce
Illinois, like the majority of states in this country, is not a community property state when it comes to dividing up the marital estate during a divorce. Instead, the decision is based on "equitable distribution" of a couple’s assets. Equitable distribution does not mean assets are split in half, with each spouse receiving 50 percent. Instead, it is the court who decides what an equitable and fair division is.
In some cases, spouses are able to negotiate an agreement between themselves, or with the help of their attorneys, and the judge’s signature is a formality needed to make the agreement legal. In many other cases, however, a judge is the one who makes the decision of what is an equitable distribution based on the evidence each spouse introduces into trial.
There are several factors a judge will consider when making his or her decision. These factors include:
Declining Illinois Unemployment Numbers: Promising News for Marriages
There is encouraging news for Illinois as the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) and the Illinois Department of Employment Security (IDES) confirmed that the Illinois unemployment rate fell again in August, marking a decline for the fifth consecutive month. Not only is this encouraging news for Illinois, but perhaps even better news for men in the Prairie State. Recently, researchers at Ohio State University published survey results regarding the instance of marital strife due to the unemployment status of married men and the slim prospects for the unemployed single man seeking a marital partner.
Lead researcher Liana Sayer, a professor of Sociology at Ohio State University, worked in collaboration with the National Survey of Families and Households (NSFH). Sayer and her team followed over 3,600 couples from 1986 to 2003. By using a series of questions, the group gauged how the couples felt about their marriages in general and then further collected data regarding employment and current earnings. Their goal was to determine if financial uncertainty would lead to divorce.
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