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Keeping the Divorce Process Amicable
A divorce, as most people are aware, can be a nasty, volatile affair. Parties who were once so in love that they agreed to spend the rest of their lives together can quickly become fierce rivals who can no longer stand to be in the same room as one another. Each aspect of such a divorce becomes a small battle in the war to see who will “win” in the end.
Many who are considering divorce fear that their situation will deteriorate to similar levels of contentiousness and hostility. The reality, however, is that divorce does not need to be this way. Rather, it is possible for a couple to end their legal marriage while remaining civil, respectful, and even somewhat friendly throughout the process.
Redefining Winning
In order to keep your divorce amicable, you will first need to decide what “success” in your divorce means to you. Do you need to keep the marital home, the flat-screen television, a car, and secure primary responsibilities for your children without regard for what your spouse wants? Or would you prefer a situation in which you and your former partner each have enough resources to support yourselves and in which your children are happy and loved? An amicable divorce is not a competition; it is a negotiation in pursuit of a reasonable compromise.
Angry Texts and Emails Can Affect Your Parenting Time
In today’s fast-paced world, we can communicate more quickly than ever before. While the telephone has been around for almost 150 years, only recently have we developed the technology to take our phones—and now our computers—with us wherever we go. Now, we can instantly reach and out touch friends and family members anywhere in the world with just a few taps on our smartphones. Instant communication, however, can also be a curse, especially for a divorced parent who is prone to angry outbursts, as texts and emails full of insults and vitriol can quickly find their way in front of a judge.
Reaching an Equilibrium
If you are a parent who has gone through or is going through a divorce, you have probably experienced highs and lows in your post-separation relationship with your former partner. It is entirely understandable that you will have disagreements. You may have different philosophies regarding life in general, as well as many various aspects of parenting. There is a reason—probably many reasons—that you are no longer together so a somewhat tenuous relationship is to be expected.
The Power of a Special Needs Trust
As you look ahead to a time when you will no longer be around to care for your loved ones, you have probably given a great deal of thought to those who rely on you the most. You may have a son or daughter or even a sibling with a disability or other types of special needs who is unable to care for him- or herself. While you may have been able to care for a loved one with special needs during your lifetime, providing for him or her after your death could present significant challenges and may require you to establish a special needs trust in your loved one’s name.
What Is a Special Needs Trust
A special needs trust, sometimes called a supplemental needs trust, is a tool that can allow the assets placed under the trust to be used for the care of a person with a disability or special needs without affecting his or her eligibility for government assistance programs. Special needs trusts are often funded by large, lump-sum settlements or through gifts and inheritances. Without a properly-drafted special needs trust, leaving part of your estate to a loved one with disabilities could potential disrupt the delicate balance of government aid programs upon which he or she relies.
Same-Sex Couples Encouraged to Consider Adoption, Foster Care
The Chicago Tribune reports that there are currently more than 17,000 children in Illinois who are in foster care, with over 6,000 of them being cared for by non-relatives. In addition, there are approximately 1,000 children available for permanent adoption in the state on any given day. With so many children in need of loving homes, state officials are always looking for more couples and families who are willing to provide stability and care.
“We just don’t have enough people who have stepped forward,” said Susan McConnell, founder of a regional nonprofit group that advocates for adoption and foster care. Her group, Let It Be Us, has joined with the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services to promote participation in the state’s adoption and foster care programs among gay and lesbian parents. “We think that in the (LBGT) community,” McConnell continued, “there are people who would be good parents.
Potential Positives in Your Divorce
No one would ever deny that getting a divorce is a difficult and painful process. You had intended to stay married to your partner forever, and, now, your plans for the future are falling apart. Divorce is never the first option for those who are married, but going through one does not mean your life is over. After you have processed the sadness and pain of divorce is, you may notice a few potential benefits of the separation. For example:
Time to Pursue Hobbies and Interests
Managing a marriage and a family can be time consuming, but after a divorce, you may be sharing custody of children with your ex-spouse. This means that you suddenly have those nights without the children free. Even if you did not have children, you may notice that you have more time to spend how you choose anyway, as your time is yours alone. You could learn how to paint, take up a community sport, adopt a pet, or start practicing yoga. The door to your marriage may have closed, but many windows of opportunities have opened.
What Kind of Powers are Granted to My Health Care Power of Attorney Agent?
As with most estate planning arrangements, you, thankfully, have a say over who you appoint as your "agent" when it comes to your health care power of attorney. Under this planning tool, you are considered the "principal" and the person you appoint as "agent" is granted various permissions regarding your health care.
In short, a health care power of attorney, or POA, is a type of advance directive which allows you to designate someone you trust to make decisions about your health, on your behalf, in the event you are no longer able to make decisions for yourself due to illness or debilitative condition. You can create a binding power of attorney for your health by using the standard state form or by writing your own.
How the Powers Are Determined
However you choose to go about creating your POA, it is important to understand the kind of powers that are granted to the agent you choose and to what extent you have say over those powers. What kind of powers will be given to your agent? How much say will they have over your health in the unfortunate event that you are no longer able to make such decisions?
Summer and Winter Divorce Seasons
Winter holidays often bring to mind thoughts of families around massive turkey dinners and children excitedly opening Christmas presents. Summer months involve similar—though usually outdoor—family gatherings and vacations. Children are on a break from school and parents can grill dinner outdoors while getting some sun. Although we generally think of holidays as a fun-filled vacation from stress, a new study from the University of Washington suggests otherwise. According to the study, rates of divorce filing significantly increase in the time period after the holidays.
Divorce filings seem to peak in March, after the winter holidays, and in August, at the end of summer vacation. Sociology professor Julie Brines and doctoral student Brian Serafini found evidence of a biannual pattern in divorce in Washington State between 2001 and 2015. Their results suggest that divorce rates rise 40% from December to March.
Why Is Divorce Seasonal?
Cohabitation Agreements in Illinois
More couples are choosing to live together without being married than ever before. In fact, cohabitation is being called the "new normal," when it comes to living arrangements for younger couples. Three out of four women will have lived with a male partner before turning 30, according to one study. Whether you are considering marriage in the future or have decided to forego marriage altogether, it is still important to protect yourself and your rights while living together with a partner. A family law attorney can help you craft a cohabitation agreement and answer any other questions you may have.
Cohabitation Facts
A government study spanning the years 2006-2010 reported that nearly half of all women - 48 percent - in so-called first-unions, or long-term relationships with men, chose to move in with their partners prior to or in place of getting married. The figure represented a five percent increase from a similar study conducted in 1995. Roughly 40 percent of those cohabitants studied married their partner within the next three years, and another 32 percent continued to live with their partner without getting married.
Which Advance Directive Options are Best for You?
When it comes to estate planning and documenting your wishes regarding your health care, it is important to know which options you have and to understand your rights before you put anything in writing. After all, this is your chance to speak your mind concerning what you do and do not want in the event you are incapacitated and unable to make decisions about your own health.
Acquainting yourself with the full scope of the options available to you can help you select the advance directives that best suit your needs and desires. Having these plans in place not only offers the advantage of bringing you peace of mind, but it can also benefit your loved ones as well by providing them with the comfort knowing you are prepared for the unexpected.
The Four Main Advance Directive Options in Illinois
Illinois law makes four specific options available to those wishing to document their health care directives in advance. If you wish, you may utilize any combination of these options. The purpose of every advance directive is to give you say over your own health and who else you would like to give that power to if you are unable to make decisions someday. You may choose any of the following:
A New Understanding of Child Custody and Visitation
At the beginning of 2016, sweeping amendments to Illinois state law changed the terminology and application of child-related matters during divorce. Child custody became known as the allocation of parental responsibilities and visitation was renamed as parenting time. These changes are meant to reduce contention, preserve family bonds, and keep children at the center of divorce proceedings. Understand how this may affect your case, and how you can effectively navigate the process.
Allocation of Parental Responsibilities in Illinois
Under the new provisions, decision-making regarding where a child will go to school, what church they will attend, where the child will reside, if and when they should have certain medical or surgical procedures, and other important decisions are known as the allocation of parental responsibilities. It may be split equally among parents, or the most authority may go to the parent that has the greatest amount of parenting time. Alternatively, there are situations in which the parent with the least amount of parenting time will have the most decision-making power. Essentially, the circumstances are as varied as each individual family.
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