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Debunking Estate Planning Myths
For many people, estate planning is a vague, nebulous process that involves a person accepting his or her own mortality. Even among those who understand the importance of planning ahead, there are a number of myths regarding estate planning that continue to abound. A comprehensive estate plan is crucial to protecting your assets and your family’s financial future, and the process can be complicated if you believe things that simply are not true. Over the next several posts on this blog, we will address some of the most common estate planning myths, beginning with:
Myth: Estate Planning Is for Older People
Young adults, in many cases, are still shaking off their adolescent concept of invincibility, but it can take a while for that to actually happen. By the time they reach their 30s and 40s, they may understand that bad things can occur but still see estate planning as not quite necessary yet.
Reality: It is never too early to begin estate planning. The moment you begin amassing property of your own or become a parent, you need to start thinking about the future. Tragedy can strike at any time, leaving questions regarding the status of your possessions and, possibly, the guardianship of your children. Also, keep in mind that your concept of “older people” is going to change continually throughout your life. Consider the world-famous musician Prince, who died last year at the age of 58—without an estate plan in place. Could it be possible that he was waiting until he was older to develop a plan that covered his $200 million estate?
Helping Your Children Manage a Divorce
A divorce, as most people realize, can be extremely stressful for everyone involved. Children commonly have the most difficulty adjusting to all of the changes. Unfortunately, the effects of a divorce may be felt by your child for many years after the process has been completed. There are several ways—including some things you can do right now—to help your child cope with the end of your marriage.
Listen to Their Problems and Worries
Children, just like adults, feel loved and cared for when they know you are listening to them. This is more than just hearing what they have to say. Listening requires you to both be active in showing you understand what they are worried about while withholding any judgments or solutions until after the child is done sharing. Even then, it important to allow your children the freedom to experience their feelings. Attempting to control your child’s emotions or shaming him or her for feeling a certain way is not healthy and can lead to larger problems down the road.
Mediation Could Help Protect Your Children
Divorce is typically a time of increased stress and emotions for the couple splitting. When we are emotionally wounded, we have a tendency to lash out against the person who caused the damage. Some events that happen throughout the course of a divorce have the proclivity to leave lasting emotional wounds to those involved. As adults, we have a better understanding of what is happening and why, but when children are involved, the situation changes. The impact of what happens during a divorce could last for decades or even a lifetime. Many divorcing spouses now seek alternative solutions as a means of protecting their children. One such method is mediation.
What is Mediation?
Even after years of marriage, it is possible just to realize that this is not what you truly want for your life. You and your spouse may have irreconcilable differences, and you just do not “mesh” well together anymore. That is absolutely okay and it does not make either of you any a bad or unlovable person. For situations such as these and others in which the splitting pair are able to maintain a civil relationship, mediation is a viable alternative to traditional divorce proceedings. Instead of heading straight to a courtroom armed with your own personal attorney, divorce mediation allows an opportunity for spouses to come together in a private location with a neutral third party—a mediator—and settle the divorce on their own terms.
Should You Contest Your Loved One’s Will?
When you are dealing with the loss of a family member or loved one, financial and property considerations may be the furthest thing from your mind. In the weeks that follow, however, your intense emotions are likely to subside, giving you the space to think about your loved one’s estate and his or her will. Depending on your relationship to the person and his or her accumulated property, you may be expecting a sizable inheritance. But what happens if the terms of the will are not what you expected? What if your inheritance is less than you were promised? According to Illinois law, you may have the option of contesting your loved one’s will, but doing so may not always be the best choice.
Contesting a Will
The law provides certain people with the right to file a will contest, including those who would have some claim to the decedent’s estate if the person had died without a will as well as those named in previous wills. This means that if the person who died was a family friend rather than a relative and you were never named in any version of his or her will, you have no standing to contest the final will.
When to Date Again After Divorce
Ending a marriage through a divorce can leave a gaping hole in your life. You may feel lonely, depressed, unwanted, and bored. The way you used to spend your time and energy has changed, and now you want something new. Some divorcees want to avoid relationships for a time after splitting from their spouse while others are eager to start dating again. Is there a right time to start dating after getting a divorce?
Dating Before Your Divorce is Finalized
“Life happens” as the saying goes and sometimes you meet Mr. Right or Ms. Right before you are technically divorced. Many experts agree that dating during a divorce is not the wisest choice. You may choose to pursue a new relationship at this stage anyway, but there are a few things to keep in mind.
If you have children, it is very important to consider how dating a new person will affect them. The separation of you and your spouse was most likely very traumatic to them – even if they are not currently showing it. Children often feel confused, unloved, and afraid during a separation. Their family dynamic is changing dramatically, and it is hard to them to understand this and adapt to it regardless of their age.
Why Do We Put Off Estate Planning?
Deep down, most of us understand why having an estate plan in place would be a good thing. We know that we want our property and assets to be distributed among our family member or chosen charitable organizations. Put another way, we realize we “can’t take it with us” when we die. Despite these realities, more than half of American adults have not taken the time to draft a will, let alone develop a comprehensive estate plan. There are many possible motives why this may be true, but most tend to procrastinate on estate planning for largely the same reasons, including:
Death Is Scary
In a society that places such a high value on longevity and advances in health care, it should hardly be a surprise that people are hesitant to confront the idea that they will die at some point. That said, death will, one day, be a reality for everyone, and no matter what your beliefs may be regarding religion or the afterlife, your family members and your assets will be left behind. While our own mortality may be difficult, it is worth being uncomfortable for a little while to ensure your loved ones are provided for in your estate plan.
Protecting Your Children During Divorce
The decision to divorce is not one that is made easily. This is especially true for those that have children who are sure to be impacted by the complex process. To bring awareness to the struggles that children face in divorce and to help parents better understand how they can improve their child’s ability to cope and adjust, The Child of Divorce—an advocacy group for children—has created and recently released an emotional but educational video. The topics discussed in the video are extremely relevant to many families and provide tips that parents can use during their divorce.
A Child’s View of Divorce
Parents are often—and understandably—shaken, troubled, and possibly even shocked by the changes that divorce brings. Children experience many of these very same emotions but in a very different way. They often feel that the very foundation of their world is crumbling. All that was once stable, safe, and secure is changing, and they have no control or say over the matter. Yet they still feel a strong attachment to both parents. When the parties become more focused on "winning," and less on the emotions and well-being of their children, young ones can feel as though they are being asked to choose. No child should ever be placed in this position.
The Basics of Trusts in Estate Planning
While you may not know the specific requirements that make one valid in the eyes of the law, you are probably familiar the concept of a will. You most likely realize that most people use a will to specify how their assets will be handled after their death. Many individuals also utilize trusts in the process of estate planning. But, what exactly is a trust and how can they help with your estate planning needs?
What Is a Trust?
A trust, at its most basic, is a fiduciary relationship that allows a person—a trustor—to give the right to hold property or assets to another person—a trustee—for the benefit of a third party or parties. There are several types of trusts that are commonly used in estate planning, but each of them has a similar structure. Assets and property are typically placed in a trust to be distributed at a later date—or over time—to the trustor’s named beneficiaries.
Protecting Your Finances in Marriage: Beware of Gold Diggers
We have all heard the phrase “love is blind.” Many of us have even fallen victim to it ourselves. It is not uncommon for a person, when he or she first falls in love, tend to only see their partner’s good points while ignoring their faults and evident warning signs. This is likely to be a contributing factor to many divorces, especially for couples who marry after only knowing each other a short time.
Such is often the case for people who marry someone, only to find out later that their spouse is a “gold digger.” The word gold digger refers to a person who begins a romantic relationship or marries a partner because the partner is wealthy or well-connected. These relationships are also referred to as romance scams. Although it is common to think that only women are gold diggers, there are many cases in which men are just as guilty.
Know the Warning Signs
There are indications that may suggest the person who you are thinking of marrying is not who or what they say they are financially. Some of the red flags to look for include:
How to Include Your Caregiver in Your Will
As you age, it is not unreasonable for your needs to change. Depending on your physical and mental health, you may require more personal and medical care than you once did. While your family members and loved ones may be willing to help, they may not always be equipped or able to do so. In such cases, you may need to depend upon a caregiver with whom you have no family or personal relationship—at least at the beginning. Over time, you may become very close with your caregiver, possibly even close enough to consider including him or her in your will.
Legal Protections
In 2015, Illinois lawmakers amended to the Illinois Probate Act to provide additional protections for those who are under the care of non-family caregivers. The amendment created the presumption that any transfer of property exceeding $20,000 to an unrelated caregiver is fraudulent if the transfer is challenged. According to the law, the presumption of fraud would invalidate the will or trust making such a transfer.
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